Tom the Toad Song

Tune: Oh, Christmas Tree

Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?
You did not see that car ahead
And you were flattened by the tread.
Oh Tom the Toad, Oh Tom the Toad
Why are you lying in the road?

Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?
You running from the mutts,
Then that truck spread out your guts.
Oh, Kitty Cat, Oh, Kitty Cat
Why does your tongue hang out like that?

Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?
You did not see the hook ahead,
And now your head is stuffed with bread.
Oh Fred the fish, Oh Fred the fish,
Why are you lying on the dish?

Oh Bill the bug, oh Bill the bug,
What are you doing on the rug.
Oh Bill the bug, oh Bill the bug,
What are you doing on the rug.
You did not see the foot ahead,
and now your just a spot of red,
Oh Bill the bug, oh Bill the bug,
What are you doing on the rug.

Oh Rog the dog, Oh Rog the dog,
Why did you jump on that green log?
Oh Rog the dog, Oh Rog the dog,
Why did you jump on that green log?
You used to like to play and track.
But now you are a 'gator's snack.
Oh Rog the dog, Oh Rog the dog,
Why did you jump on that green log?


Oh AL the Gater, Oh Al the gater
You should have waited until later.
Oh Al the Gater, Oh Al the Gater
You should have waited until later.
You sat upon the yellow line,
and now you're just a streak of slime
Oh AL the Gater, Oh Al the gater
You should have waited until later.

Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?
You did not look from East to West
Now on the road there's such a mess.
Oh Sue the Skunk, Oh Sue the Skunk
Why do you make my tires go thunk?

Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.
In the road you thought you'd travel,
Now you're ground into the gravel.
Oh Turtle Ted, Oh turtle Ted,
Your shell's all broken - so's your head.

Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?
Along the road you swooped and flapped,
But a trucker's windshield got you zapped!
Oh Billy Bat, Oh Billy Bat,
Why are you lying still like that?

Oh Jake the snake, Oh Jake the snake,
Why are you lying on the lake?
Oh Jake the snake, Oh Jake the snake,
Why are you lying on the lake?
You did not see the motor boat,
And now your guts are all afloat
Oh Jake the snake, Oh Jake the snake,
Why are you lying on the lake?

Joel the mole, Oh, Joel the Mole
Why did you fall into that hole?
Joel the Mole, Oh, Joel the Mole
Why did you fall into that hole?
You used to be so short and fat
And now you are a great big SPLAT.
Joel the mole, Oh Joel the Mole
Why did you fall into that hole?

Oh, Tom the Cat, Oh, Tom the Cat,
Why did you have to chase that Rat?
Oh, Tom the Cat, Oh, Tom the Cat,
Why did you have to chase that Rat?
You were so soft, you loved to purr,
But now you're just blood, bones and fur,
Oh, Tom the Cat, Oh, Tom the Cat,
Why did you have to chase that Rat?

Armadillo Bob, Armadillo Bob,
Why did you leave your nice safe log?
Armadillo Bob, Armadillo Bob,
Why did you leave your nice safe log?
Your armor made you brave I think,
Now lying on the road you stink.
Armadillo Bob, Armadillo Bob,
Why did you leave your nice safe log?

Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?
Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?
You did not see that truck go by
Now you look like a butterfly.
Oh Sam the Snake, Oh Sam the Snake
Why do you lie out there and bake?

Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet
You thought you'd beat that bus across
Now you look like a pile of moss.
Oh Possum Pete, Oh Possum Pete
There's nothing left but hair and feet

Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?
Across the yellow line you strayed,
The truck hit you - like a grenade!
Arm'dillo Tex, Arm'dillo Tex,
Why are you looking so perplexed?

Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?
You didn't look as you jumped out,
A ten-ton truck ran up your snout!
Oh Froggie Fred, Oh Froggie Fred,
Why do you lie there stone-cold dead?

Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?
In the air you'd quickly speed,
An eighteen-wheeler made you bleed.
Oh Swallow Sam, Oh Swallow Sam,
What turned your body into jam?

Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.
Out in the lane you boldly went,
Now your bod's not worth a cent!
Oh Doggie Spot, Oh Doggie Spot,
Upon the road you're such a blot.

Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?
Out on the road you quickly jumped,
You didn't count on getting bumped.
Oh Bunny Ben, Oh Bunny Ben,
Why is your body flat and thin?

Oh, Chicken Cluck you never slowed
As you went running cross the road.
Oh, Chicken Cluck you never slowed
As you went running cross the road.
Despite the other's evidence,
Please tell us why you had no sense
Oh, Chicken Cluck you never slowed
As you went running cross the road.

I ran across! I ran across!
In memory of those we lost!
I ran across! I ran across!
In memory of those we lost!
I had to prove to Tom & Sue,
& Sam & Pete, I could get through!
I ran across! I ran across!
In memory of those we lost!