Who's the Scoutmaster? Skit

This Skit is meant for Scouts BSA.
Decide for yourself if it is appropriate for your younger scouts or not.

#1: Well, Michael, welcome to our Troop, I'm going to be your Patrol Leader.
#2: Look, Ralph, if you're the Patrol Leader, you must know all the members of this troop.
#1: I certainly do.
#2: Well, you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know everybody.
#1: Well, let's see. We can start with the leaders, Who's the Scoutmaster, What's the Senior Patrol Leader, I Don't Know the Advancement Chairman...
#2: That's what I want to find out.
#1: I said, Who's the Scoutmaster, What's SPL, I Don't Know's the Advancement Chair.
#2: Are you a Patrol Leader?
#1: Yes.
#2: And you don't know the fellows' names.
#1: Well, I should.
#2: Well, then, who's the Scoutmaster?
#1: Yes.
#2: I mean the fellow's name.
#1: Who.
#2: The Scoutmaster.
#1: Who.
#2: The man who leads the troop.
#1: Who.
#2: The guy that signs off in your book...
#1: Who is the Scoutmaster!
#2: I'm asking you who's the Scoutmaster.
#1: That's the man's name.
#2: That's who's name?
#1: Yes.
#2: Well, go ahead and tell me.
#1: That's it.
#2: That's who?
#1: Yes.

#2: Look, you have a Scoutmaster?
#1: Certainly.
#2: Who is it?
#1: That's right.
#2: When you get your Blue Card signed, who signs it?
#1: Every time.
#2: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name that's the Scoutmaster.
#1: Who.
#2: The guy that signs...
#1: That's it.
#2: Who signs the Blue...
#1: He does, every one. Sometimes his assistant signs it.
#2: Who's assistant?
#1: Yes.

#1: What's wrong with that?
#2: Look, all I wanna know is, when the Scoutmaster signs your Blue Card, how does he sign his name?
#1: Who.
#2: The guy.
#1: Who.
#2: How does he sign...
#1: That's how he signs it.
#2: Who?
#1: Yes.
#2: All I'm trying to find out is what's the name of the Scoutmaster.
#1: No. What is the Senior Patrol Leader.
#2: I'm not asking you who's the Senior Patrol Leader.
#1: Who's the Scoutmaster.
#2: One leader at a time!
#1: Well, don't change the leaders around.
#2: I'm not changing anybody!
#1: Take it easy, buddy.
#2: I'm only asking you, who's the guy that's the Scoutmaster?
#1: That's right.
#2: Ok.
#1: All right.

#2: What's the guy's name right there? (pointing to the SM)
#1: No. What is the Senior Patrol Leader.
#2: I'm not asking you who's SPL.
#1: Who's the Scoutmaster.
#2: I don't know.
#1: He's Advancement Chairman. We're not talking about him.
#2: Now, how did I get to the Advancement Chair?
#1: Why, you mentioned his name.
#2: If I mentioned the Advancement Chairman's name, who did I say it was?
#1: No. Who's the Scoutmaster.
#2: What's the Scoutmaster?
#1: What's the SPL.
#2: I don't know.
#1: He's the Advancement Chair.
#2: There I go, back to the Advancement Chairman again!

#2: Would you just stay with the Advancement Chairman and don't go off of him.
#1: All right. What do you want to know?
#2: Now, who's the Advancement Chairman?
#1: Why do you insist on putting Who as the Advancement Chair?
#2: What am I putting as Advancement Chair?
#1: No. What is the SPL.
#2: You don't know who's the SPL?
#1: Who is the Scoutmaster.
#2: I don't know.
Together: Advancement Chair!

#2: Look, you have other leaders?
#1: Sure.
#2: The Quartermaster's name?
#1: Why.
#2: I just thought I'd ask you.
#1: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
#2: Then tell me who's the Quartermaster.
#1: Who's the Scoutmaster.
#2: I'm not...stay out of the Adult Leaders!!! I want to know what's the guy's name of the Quartermaster?
#1: No, What is the SPL.
#2: I'm not asking you who's SPL.
#1: Who's the Scoutmaster!
#2: I don't know.
Together: Advancement Chair!

#2: The Quartermaster's name?
#1: Why.
#2: Because!
#1: Oh, he's Crew Chief.

#2: Look, you got a Scribe in this troop?
#1: Sure.
#2: The Scribe's name?
#1: Tomorrow.
#2: You don't want to tell me today?
#1: I'm telling you now.
#2: Then go ahead.
#1: Tomorrow!
#2: What time?
#1: What time what?
#2: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's the Scribe?
#1: Now listen. Who is not the Scribe.
#2: I'll break your arm if you say who's the Scoutmaster!!! I want to know what's the Scribe's name?
#1: What's the SPL.
#2: I don't know.
Together: Advancement Chair!

#2: You got an Assistant Senior Patrol Leader?
#1: Certainly.
#2: The ASPL's name?
#1: Today.
#2: Today. And tomorrow's the Scribe.
#1: Now you've got it.
#2: All we got is a couple of days in this troop.

#2: You know I'm Star too.
#1: So they tell me.
#2: I need some merit badges for Life. I get a Blue Card and a councilor's name from I Don't Know. Being a good Scout, I'm gonna get the Scoutmaster's signature. So I pick up the blue card and bring it to who?
#1: Now that's the first thing you've said right all night.
#2: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

#1: That's all you have to do.
#2: Is to bring the Blue Card to the Scoutmaster?
#1: Yes!
#2: Now who's got it?
#1: Naturally.

#2: Look, if I bring the Blue Card to the Scoutmaster, somebody's gotta have it. Now, who has it?
#1: Naturally.
#2: Who?
#1: Naturally.
#2: Naturally?
#1: Naturally.
#2: So I pick up the Blue Card and bring it to Naturally.
#1: No, you don't. You pick up the Blue Card and bring it to Who.
#2: Naturally.
#1: That's different.
#2: That's what I said.
#1: You're not saying it...
#2: I bring the Blue Card to Naturally.
#1: You bring it to Who.
#2: Naturally.
#1: That's it.
#2: That's what I said!
#1: You ask me.
#2: I bring the Blue Card to who?
#1: Naturally.
#2: Now you ask me.
#1: You bring the Blue Card to Who?
#2: Naturally.
#1: That's it.
#2: Same as you! Same as YOU!!!
I bring the Blue Card to who. Who picks up the card signs it and gives it to What. What gives it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know signs it and gives it back to Who. Signed Blue Card! Another guy brings his Blue Card to Because. Why? I don't know! He's the Advancement Chair, and I don't give a darn!
#1: What?
#2: I said I don't give a darn!
#1: Oh, that's our Committee Chairman.