Camp Granada Song
Hello muddah, hello faddah
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking with Joe Spivy.
He developed poison ivy.
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.
All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.
Now I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria.
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh muddah, fadduh
Take me home, I hate Granada!
Don't leave me out in the forest
Where I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,
Or mes the house with other boys.
Oh, please don't make me stay,
I've been here one whole day.
Dearest fadduh, darling muddah,
How's my precious little bruddah?
Let me come home, if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.
Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's bettah
Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter!
Follow On version
Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh.
I am back at Camp Granada.
And I'm writing you this letter
Just to say my compound fracture's getting better.
No one here knows where my trunk is
And my bunk is where the skunk is.
And this year the food's improving
'Cause the little black things in it are not moving.
Our camp nurse is quite a swimmer.
She says swimming makes you slimmer.
Her name's Mrs. Balagreeni.
Have you ever seen a whale in a bikini?
All our bathrooms have such thin doors.
Gee, I wish they'd move them indoors.
We're all tired of Mother Goose here.
So next Friday night they're having Lenny Bruce here.
Let me stay, oh Muddah, Fadduh.
Let me stay, I love Granada.
Every night the camp fire's really keen.
Oh mom, please send some Ovaltine.
Let me stay, out here in mother nature's land
And tip-toe through the tulips grand.
To leave would be a shame.
Besides, I'd miss the poker game.
Please don't worry, Fadduh, Muddah.
I'll take care of little brudda.
He plays ball here and he rows here
And I hope they teach him how to blow his nose here.
He wakes up at half past six and
Goes directly to the quick sand.
He was lonely, now he's better.
He's like all of us except his bed is wetter.