Elephant Joke

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Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees.
Q: Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: (they will say NO). Works, doesn't it?!
Q: How do you know there have been elephants in the fridge?
A: There's footprints in the butter.
Q: Why do elephants paint their ears yellow?
A: That's not paint, its butter.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red, blue, green, orange, yellow, and brown?
A: So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Q: How did the pygmie break his back?
A: He tried to carry a bag of M&Ms home from the store.

Q: Why is it dangerous to walk in the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants jump out of the trees.
Q: Why are pygmies so small?
A: They walked in the jungle between 3 and 4 in the afternoon.

Q: How do you get an elephant on top of an oak tree?
A: Stand him on an acorn and wait fifty years.
Q: What if you don't want to wait fifty years?
A: Parachute him from an airplane.
Q: Why isn't it safe to climb oak trees between 1 and 2 in the afternoon?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.

Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
A: To fit on lily pads.
Q: Why isn't it safe to walk on the lily pads between 4 and 5 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.
Q: Why are frogs such good jumpers?
A: So they can walk on the lily pads between 4 and 5 in the afternoon.

Q: How do you get two elephants in a pickup truck?
A: One in the cab, one in the back.
Q: How do you get two mice in a pickup truck?
A: You can't ... it's full of elephants.

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: From stomping out forest fires!
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From stomping out burning ducks!

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants running through the jungle?
A: 'Here come the elephants running through the jungle!'
Q: Why did the elephants wear sunglasses?
A: So Tarzan wouldn't recognize them.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants running through the jungle?
A: Nothing. He didn't recognize them with their sunglasses on.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: 'Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!'
Q: What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: 'Look! A herd of plums in the distance' (Jane is color blind)

Q: Why do cub scouts run so fast in the forest at night?
A: To escape the elephants swinging through the trees.
Q: What's that yucky stuff between the elephant's toes?
A: Slow cub scouts!

Q: How can you tell if an elephant is under your bed?
A: The ceiling is very close!
Q: How do you know if there's an elephant in bed?
A: He has a big 'E' on his pajamas jacket pocket.
Q: How do you tell an elephant from a field mouse?
A: Try to pick it up, If you can't, it's either an elephant or a very overweight field mouse.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator?
A: Footprints in the Jell-O.
Q: How can you tell if there are 2 elephants in the refrigerator?
A: You can't shut the door!
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q: The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the
jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A: The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
Q: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
A: You can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO
Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
A: You can't, silly. There is only one Tarzan!
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagen?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There's a VW parked outside it.
Q: What did the fifth elephant in the VW discover?
A: The sun roof.
Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: The fridge isn't large enough to hold them all.

Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?
A: Wet.
Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?
A: One by one.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: There's no such thing as yellow elephants.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.

Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
A: Deadant, Deadant, Deadant! (sung to Pink Panther tune).
Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a live ant on the road?
A: He stomped on it and then said 'Deadant, Deadant, Deadant!'.

Q: Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: He didn't want to sink in the hot chocolate.
Q: How do elephants keep in touch over long distances?
A: They make trunk calls.
Q: What's red and white on the outside and gray and white on the inside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
Q: How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?
A: Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him 'lunch'.
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
Q: What do you call two elephants on a bicycle?
A: Optimistic!
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into the city?
A: Free Parking.
Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
A: Sole use of the elevator.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the bar?
A: It's bike is outside.
Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the bar?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
Q: Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A: To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q: How do you make a dead elephant float?
A: Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tons of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tons of bananas,.....
Q: What do you know when you see three elephants walking down the street wearing pink
sweatshirts?
A: They're all on the same team.
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
Q: What do you give a seasick elephant?
A: Lots of room.
Q: What has two tails, two trunks and five feet?
A: An elephant with spare parts
Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
A: Smokey the Elephant.
Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
A: You miss most of the picture!
Q: What did the peanut say to the elephant?
A: Nothing, peanuts can't talk.
Q: How do you know when an Elephant has been in the baby carriage?
A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant.

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: 6:15PM (trick question!)

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a white elephant?
A: Hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.