Mountain Dew Song

This Song is meant for Scouts BSA.
Decide for yourself if it is appropriate for your younger scouts or not.

My brother Bill runs a still on the hill
Where he turns out a gallon or two (or three)
And the buzzards in the sky get so drunk they can not fly
Just from sniffing that good ol' mountain dew.

Chorus:
They call it that good ol' mountan dew,
And them that refuse it are few.
I'll hush up my mug if you'll fill up my jug
With that good ol' mountain dew.

My aunt Lucille had an automobile,
It ran on a gallon or two (or three)
It didn't need no gas and it went awful fast
Running on that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

My uncle Mort, he is sawed off and short,
He measures 'bout four foot two (or three)
But he thinks he's a giant when you give him a pint
Of that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

Old Auntie June had a brand new perfume,
It had such a wonderful 'pew' (pee-ew)
But to her surprise, when she had it analyzed,
It was nothing but that good ol' mountain dew
- Chorus

My Uncle Art, he ain't very smart
His IQ is just twenty two (or three)
But he thinks he's a wizard, when he fills up his
gizzard
With that good ol' mountain dew
- Chorus

My Uncle Hank bought an old army tank
Way back in 'forty two (or three).
It wouldn't budge, 'til he gave it a gludge
Of that good ol' mountain dew
- Chorus

I know a guy named Pete, his hair ain't so neat,
Though he fixes it with syrup and blue (what's blue?)
But it stays right in place when he uses just a trace
Of that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

The preacher-he walked by, with a big tear in his eye
Said that his wife had the flu (boo hoo)
And hadn't I ought just to give him a quart
Of that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

My uncle Klaus had a real mean old mouse
It'd beat up a cat or two ( or three)
When they asked how it happened,
He said it was a lappin'
That good ol' mountain dew
- Chorus

There's an old hollow tree, just a little way from me
Where you lay down a dollar or two
If you hush up your mug, then they'll give you a jug
Of that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

You take a little trash and you mix it up with ash,
And you throw in the soul of a shoe.
Then you stir it awhile with an old rusty file,
And they call it that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

During the last war, we couldn't get no more,
We didn't have no sugar for the dew
With a few old potaters and a few ripe tomaters,
We turned out some stuff, I'm tellin' you.
- Chorus

Old Deacon Crane took a trip in the rain,
Said his wife had come down with the flu,
But she'll be all right if you give her a pint
Of that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

Mr. Franklin Roosevelt, he told me how he felt
The day the old dry law went through:
If your likker's too red, it will swell up your head
Better stick to that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

Old auntie Bess had some hair on her chest.
I asked her if she put it there with glue.
She said, "Heck No! It just started to grow,
When I took up drinking mountain dew."
- Chorus

My cousin Jake, he was bit by a snake.
And the doc thought he wouldn't pull through.
But he up and danced a jig when they gave him a swig
Of that good ol' mountain dew.
- Chorus

---

More verses ...

The scouts yell all day and they like to play
Maybe sing a song or two (or three)
The key may be wrong but they'll sing out strong
For that good ol' Mountain Dew
- Chorus

The summer camp staff could sure use a bath
Maybe one or two (or three)
They surely will laugh if you give 'em a bath
In that good ol' Mountain Dew
- Chorus

The racoons at night sure give us a fright
They come in by ones or twos (or threes)
But we chase them off fast when they come for our glass
Of that good ol' Mountain Dew
- Chorus

The beachfront is great and we hardly can wait
To swim for an hour or two (or three)
The water will fizz when we take a whiz
After drinking that Mountain Dew
- Chorus

Now that we're home we still like the foam
When we drink a can or two (or three)
We'll be back next year and then we'll cheer
For our good ol' Mountain Dew
- Chorus

Our old buddy Paul really is tall
He stands about six foot two (or three)
He got that way from drinking each day
A six-pack of Mountain Dew
- Chorus

Our SPL Pete has bad stinky feet
You can smell 'em for a mile or two (or three)
But they smell awful sweet if you dose 'em in DEET
then rinse 'em with Mountain Dew
- Chorus

My uncle Crocker, he was a boxer
He'd give 'em the old one two (or three)
He wouldn't fight, it just wouldn't be right
Unless it was for his Mountain Dew
- Chorus

We went up the Brule, right before school
To kayak a mile or two (or three)
We sure did row once we had a go
At that good ol' Mountain Dew
- Chorus

That darn IRS wants my money, God Bless!
I'd like to keep a dollar or two (or three)
They'll settle for less, if I fill up their glass
With that good old Mountain Dew
-Chorus