Cub Scout and Boy Scout Skits

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38 Over the Cliff
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	2 scouts
Script:	Scene: One scout is standing at the top of a high cliff, peering down over the edge. Scout 1: 38, 38, 38, 38, ... Scout 2: (walks up behind first scout ) Hey, be careful there! What are you doing? Scout 1: Take a look! There's 38 of 'em down there! Scout 2: (peers over the edge) 38? 38 what? I don't see anything. (Scout 1 gives him a gentle push on the back, just enough to send him over the edge.) Scout 1: 39, 39, 39, ...

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Anyone Else Up There?
Intended for:	Boy Scouts, Webelos Scouts
Required:	3 scouts
Preparation:	Largest scout stands center stage with arms raised like a tree.
Script:	Scout enters stage, pretending to drive a car real fast. He swerves around, drives over a cliff, falling, falling, ... and then jumps onto the tree and hangs on tight. Scout : Oh no, my car is totalled 500 feet down there in that canyon. I was sure lucky this tree was growing out of the side of the cliff. The road isn't too far up there. But, there's no way I can climb that cliff. Scout : Man, my arms are getting tired. (squirm on the tree) Scout : Help! Heeeelp! Is anyone up there? Scout : Help! Heeeelp! Is anyone up there? My arms are killing me. (squirm around on the tree) Deep Offstage Voice: I am here. I am God and I will help you. Scout : Cool! What are you going to do? I can't hold on much longer. God: Let go of the tree. Scout : What?!? I'll fall 500 feet and splatter all over the rocks. God: Do you believe in me? Scout : Well, sure. God: Then you have nothing to fear. Let go of the tree and I will save you. (pause) Scout : Is anyone ELSE up there?

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At The Movies
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	5 scouts 1 girl (or boy acting) 6 chairs a small bag a cup a ring (or pretend)
Preparation:	set the chairs in a row facing the audience. 4 scouts sit down leaving the two end chairs open.
Script:	Scene: A full movie theater. A boy and his girlfriend are going to the movies, but there are only two seats left. Scout 1: Well, I guess I'll have to sit over here and you can sit there. (they sit down) Scout 1: (after a pause, leans over to scout next to him and hands him the bag) Psst, ask her if she wants some popcorn. (Each scout passes the request down the line) Girl: Oh, yes please. (takes the bag from last scout) Scout 1: Psst, ask her if she wants some pop. (hands cup down the line.) Girl: Oh, yes please. (takes cup from last scout) Scout 1: Psst, ask her if she'll marry me. (hands ring down the line.) Girl: Oh, yes please. (runs off stage holding hands with the last scout)

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Banana Bandana
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	a bandana a banana
Notes:	The whole skit has a premise of mistaking 'banana' for 'bandana'.
Script:	magician: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the Great Mystero's Amazing Magical Bonanza! For my first trick, I need a volunteer to help me make a bandana disappear. (looking around, he choose a planted 'volunteer' that has a banana inside his shirt or pocket) The volunteer walks up onstage. magician: Thank you for helping me. For this trick, you can not watch me so let's stand back to back. magician: Now, you will need a bandana for this trick - do you have one or do you need to borrow one of mine? volunteer: (reaching in his shirt and pulling out a banana and holding it high for the audience to see) No, I brought my own. I'm ready! magician: (open bandana and wave it around) OK, first of all, open your bandana. volunteer: (peels banana) OK, it's open. magician: OK, now, fold it. volunteer: (folds banana in half) OK. magician: Now, fold it again. volunteer: Again? magician: Yes, again! volunteer: (folds banana again) OK. magician: Now, twist the banana as tightly as you can. volunteer: (twists banana into mush squeezing out his fingers) OK. magician: (holding his hand out to the side toward the audience) OK, now slap the bandana into my open hand and it will disappear! volunteer: Gladly! (squashes the banana into the magician's hand and then walks offstage) Now the magician can look disgusted at the banana or as a better ending, sticking to the saying 'The Show Must Go On', he can shove the banana mush into his mouth, show his empty hand that it is gone, and take a deep bow!

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Be Prepared
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 scouts airhorn or siren or even trashcan lids to make a startling loud noise.
Preparation:	have one scout in the back of the audience by the last part of the skit.
Notes:	This skit fills in between other skits. You need to arrange it with the program leader so he does not announce it as a skit and understands how it works.
Script:	First scout seriously walks to center stage, makes the scout sign and waits for silence. When it is fairly quiet, he loudly proclaims "Be Prepared!" and then walks offstage. Another skit or announcement or song. Second scout walks to center stage, raises scout sign and waits for silence. When quiet, proclaims "Be Prepared!" and walks off. Another skit. Third scout does the same thing. Another skit. All three scouts walk center stage and hold up the sign. The fourth scout needs to be in back of audience ready to make noise. When the scouts lower their signs, he blows the horn hopefully startling the audience. All three scouts say, "We told you to BE PREPARED!"

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Bear Attack
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 or more scouts
Script:	2 scouts are camping out, but only have a one-man tent. They argue about who should sleep inside and finally one winds up laying down 'inside' and the other 'outside'. They fall asleep. A group (2 or 3 scouts) of bears, thugs, or trolls wander by and see the sleeping scout. They rush up and beat on him for a couple seconds and then run off stage. The scout gets up, hobbles to his buddy, explains he was just attacked, and pleads to change places. The other scout won't switch and tells him to go back to sleep. Once settled down, the bears come back and beat on him again. Again, he pleads with buddy to trade. This time, he agrees to switch places. (Can repeat once more if its going well.) After they settle down, the bears come back again. Just as they are going to start beating on the scout outside, one stops and says 'Hey, we've beat this guy up enough - let's get the guy in the tent!!'.

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Bear Warning System
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	5 to 8 victims (audience volunteers)
Script:	Have everyone stand in line, shoulder touching shoulder. Explain that we are going to complete the new Bear Warning training. Tell everyone we need to crouch down so the bears can't see us so good. Everyone should be crouching on their heels. Leader takes his place to the far left of the line. Leader: "Thar's a Bar!" Then, the leader tells the guy next to him to say, "Whar?" Guy A: "Whar?" Leader: "Over Thar!" (and points to the right with his left arm) Leader: OK, now you need to pass the warning down the line. Go ahead. A: "Thar's a Bar!" B: "Whar?" A: "Over Thar!" (and points to the right with his left arm) B: "Thar's a Bar!" C: "Whar?" B: "Over Thar!" (and points to the right with his left arm) ... and so on to the end. Everyone keeps their left arm extended. Repeat the sequence, pointing to the left with the right arm. Repeat again, pointing to the right with their left leg. Make sure they stick their leg far out - this is the important part. For the final time, Leader: "Thar's a Bar!" A: "Whar?" Leader: "Over Thar!" (and pushes his shoulder into Guy A which should cause a domino effect of everyone falling down the line.)

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Blind Horse
Intended for:	Boy Scouts, Webelos Scouts
Required:	3 scouts - one big enough to carry another
Notes:	the biggest scout is the horse so he can give the smaller scout a ride.
Script:	(scout #1 is walking his horse across the stage. scout #2 is going the other way and sees them.) Scout #2: Wow! (scout and horse stop.) Sir, that horse is beautiful! It's lines are perfect. It looks wonderful! I would like to buy it from you! Scout #1: Why you wanna buy my horse? She no looka so good. Scout #2: Ha! That is the best looking horse I've ever seen! I'll give you $500 for it! Scout #1: But, meester, my horse no looka so good. Scout #2: You are a shrewd bargainer, sir. I will give you $1000 for that horse - right here, right now! Scout #1: Hokay. (scout #2 gives the money, gets on the horse, and rides off while scout #1 counts his money.) (the horse runs into a tree, chair, podium, whatever and the rider falls off. He then walks the horse back to scout #1) Scout #2: Hey, wait a minute! You sold me a blind horse! Scout #2: Yes, sir. Like I told you - My horse no looka so good!

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Brains for Sale
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	2 scouts
Script:	AAA, BBB, and CCC are three scouts or groups of scouts, with CCC being the one you are kidding. For example, Freshmen, Juniors, and Seniors. Or, Boys, Girls, and Adult Leaders. Or, Patrol 1, Patrol 2, Patrol 3. Scout 1: Brains for Sale! Brains for Sale! Scout 2: Hey, I need some brains. How much are those there? (pointing) Scout 1: Let's see... This is a jar of [AAA] brains - that's $20/pound. Scout 2: No thanks, how about those? Scout 1: Hmmm, ... $30/pound. Those are [BBB, ...] brains. That's a good buy! Scout 2: Well, do you have any others? Scout 1: (look under counter) Ah-ha! Here's a small jar of some very special brains. But, they're $50,000/pound! Scout 2: $50,000!!!! Why so much? Scout 1: These are [CCC] brains - do you have any idea how many [CCC] it takes to fill a small jar like this?!!

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Brains for Sale - Version 2
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	2 scouts
Script:	AAA, BBB, and CCC are three scouts or groups of scouts, with CCC being the one you are kidding. For example, Freshmen, Juniors, and Seniors. Or, Boys, Girls, and Adult Leaders. Or, Patrol 1, Patrol 2, Patrol 3. Scout 1: Brains for Sale! Brains for Sale! Scout 2: Hey, I need a brain. How much is that one? (pointing) Scout 1: Let's see... This is a [AAA] brain - that's $20. Scout 2: No thanks, how about that one? Scout 1: Hmmm, ... $30. That's a [BBB] brain. That's a good buy! Scout 2: Well, do you have any others? Scout 1: (look under counter) Ah-ha! Here's a very special brain. But, it's $50,000! Scout 2: $50,000!!!! Why so much? Scout 1: That's a [CCC] brain - brand new, never been used!

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Branch Manager
Intended for:	Boy Scouts, Webelos Scouts
Required:	3 scouts A large tree branch with leaves A poster board and Marker
Preparation:	Write _"fill in the blank"__ Bank on the poster board large enough for the audience to see.
Script:	Scout #1 stands center stage holding the branch. Scout #2 stands next to him holding up the sign. Scout #3 walks up to Scout #1. Scout #3: Hello! Scout #1: Hi, welcome to our bank. Scout #3: Thanks, but who are you? Scout #3: Why, I'm the BRANCH manager of course!

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Broken Finger
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	2 scouts
Script:	Scout #1: Hey, Johnny, you're good with first aid. I need your help. Scout #2: OK, what's the problem? Scout #1: When I touch my forehead with my finger, it really hurts. When I push on my jaw, it's also painful. When I press on my stomach, I almost cry. What can it be? (does each thing as he says them, always pushing with the tip of the same finger) (Scout #2 looks in his ears, listens to his heart, has him open his mouth, ...) Scout #2: Man, I don't know. You'd better go see the doctor right away. Scout #1: OK, I'll be right back. (Scout #1 runs offstage and returns right back.) Scout #2: So, what did the doctor say? What's wrong with you? Scout #1: He says I have a broken finger.

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Brown Pants
Intended for:	Boy Scouts, Webelos Scouts
Required:	4 to 8 scouts
Preparation:	1 scout is Captain. 1 scout is lookout. 1 is Captain's galley boy. The rest are men-at-arms ready to fire cannons.
Script:	Scouts are on a ship at war cruising the sea looking for enemy. Lookout: Ahoy, Cap'n! Enemy ships off the starboard bow. Captain: How many? Lookout: 2 ships, Cap'n. Captain: Boy, bring me my red jacket so the men won't see my blood if I'm wounded! (hands him his imaginary jacket which he puts on.) Captain: Fire the cannons! (scouts make cannon noises) Lookout: Woo-hoo! We sunk them both! (captain takes off his jacket and hands it back to the boy) Lookout: Ahoy, Cap'n! Enemy ships off the port bow. Captain: How many? Lookout: 5 ships, Cap'n. Captain: Boy, bring me my red jacket so the men won't see my blood if I'm wounded! (hands him his imaginary jacket which he puts on.) Captain: Fire the cannons! (scouts make cannon noises) Lookout: Woo-hoo! We sunk them all! (captain takes off his jacket and hands it back to the boy) Lookout: Ahoy, Cap'n! Enemy ships off the port stern. Captain: How many? Lookout: 40 ships, Cap'n! Captain: Boy, bring me my BROWN PANTS!

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Brownie Pudding
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	A trash can, bowl or paper bag. Sheet of paper with scribbling on it. Brownies(optional)
Notes:	This skit can be made even more gross by adding elements such as actually putting pudding into the bag or other container and then having last scout smear it on his face as he eats it. You can use more or less scouts.
Script:	Scout 1: I've been watching the food network lately, I have been inspired to cook. Scout 2: Oh no, last time I tried your cooking I got sick. Scout 1: I've gotten much better, I'll prove it. taste these brownies that I made. Scout 2: (tastes brownie, throws up in bag, runs away) Scout 3: What's up with him? Scout 1: Nothing, want a brownie. Scout 3: Sure. (tastes brownie, throws up in bag, runs away) Scout 4: What happened to him? Scout 1: He's, uh, fine. Taste a brownie. Scout 4: Sure. (tastes brownie, throws up in bag, runs away) Scout 1: I give up, I guess I wasn't meant to be a chef! (walks or runs away) Scout 5: (walks in, sees sickness bag, looks at it, digs in) Mmmmmm, warm Brownie Pudding!

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Brushing Teeth
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 to 8 scouts toothbrushes for each 2 cups
Preparation:	Scout #1 has water in his cup. Last scout has a mouth full of water.
Notes:	This is like the Earwashing Skit
Script:	Scouts stand shoulder to shoulder facing audience, each with a toothbrush ready. Scout #1 on the left, Last scout on the right. #1 and Last each have a paper cup. Scout #1: On our last outing, our leader taught us how to keep our teeth clean AND conserve water. We're going to teach you so we can all help conserve water. Scout #1 takes a drink of water from his cup and brushes his teeth. He swishes the water around, then leans over to the next scout and pretends to spit it into his ear. He then says, 'Aaaaah, refreshing!' or some such thing. Next scout brushes, swishes, and spits. Continue on down the line to the last scout. The last scout (with a mouthful of water) brushes, swishes, and then spits a stream of water into his cup or out on the ground if outside.

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Bubblegum
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 to 8 scouts chair
Script:	Scout walks onstage, sits down while pretending to chew gum. He takes his pretend gum out of his mouth, sticks it to the back of the chair, then walks off. Next scout jogs onstage looking tired. He leans on the back of the chair with his hands and finds the gum on his hand. With a disgusted look, he wipes it off his hand onto the chair seat. Next scout comes out and sits on the chair. After a few seconds, he tries to get up and notices the gum has him stuck. He peels it off and throws it on the ground. Next scout walks across and steps on the gum, getting his foot stuck. He peels it off and, being a nice guy not wanting anyone else to step in it, sticks it to the back of the chair. First scout comes back on, sits down, reaches back and finds his gum still there. He pops it in his mouth, starts chewing and walks offstage.

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Bully Be Gone
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	3 scouts - small, large, and narrator
Script:	(Small scout enters stage left while Bully enters stage right and meet center stage.) Bully: Hey, kid! Give me all your money! Scout : No! (Bully hits him and he falls, kicks him, then bends down and takes his money. Then, bully runs offstage.) (scout gets up and brushes himself off while narrator speaks.) Narrator: Have you been bullied? (scout nods) Picked on? (scout nods) Mugged? (scout nods) Well, then you need Bully Be Gone - the new invisible Wall In A Can. The best defense against bullies. Scout : Yeah! I gotta get me some of that. (and runs offstage opposite the bully.) (scout and bully enter stage from opposite sides again. Scout is holding imaginary spray can and reading the label.) Bully: Hey, kid. It's a new day, and a new beating for you if you don't give me your money right now. Scout : No! (and sprays can in back and forth motion like spraying a wall.) Bully: OK, you asked for it! (and throws punch but it hits the wall) OW! My Hand! (bully kicks at scout ) OW! My Foot! (scout pushes against invisible wall and it falls on bully, pinning him flat.) OW! I give up! (scout reaches into his pocket and takes back his money and walks offstage.)

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Can of Cola
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	one can of cola one stool
Script:	First scout brings in a stool, puts it down, leaves. Next scout brings in a can of coka cola, puts it on the stool, leaves. Next scout opens the can of coke, puts it back on the stool, leaves. Next scout drinks the whole can of coke, leaves. Next scout takes the can, leaves. Next scout takes the stool, leaves. Next scout comes in, does a really long burp, leaves.

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Can't Work in the Dark
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 or more scouts
Script:	All scouts are center stage digging with shovels, raking, whatever manual labor they want. One scout just stands there with his arm raised straight as if he were holding a torch in his hand. (Boss walks onstage to survey the work being done. He sees the one guy not working and walks up to him.) Boss: I'm paying you to work, not to just stand around. Why aren't you working? Scout #1: I'm a lightbulb! Boss: Get to work! When I come back, if you aren't working, you're fired! (boss leaves and everyone continues to do the same things. Then, boss returns and sees scout still not working.) Boss: That's it! You're fired! Get out! (scout drops his arm and dejectedly exits stage. As soon as he drops his arm, the rest look around, stop working, and start to leave.) Boss: Hey, why are you guys leaving? Get back to work! Scout #2: How? We can't work in the dark!

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Cancer Operation
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	3 scouts, a tin can, knife, spoon, monkey wrench, tweezers, other items that you might want to ad-lib. a table is helpful, a sheet is a good addition
Script:	One scout is the patient laying on a table or on the floor. Drape the sheet over him as if he is ready for an operation. He needs to have the tin can hidden at his side away from the audience. One scout, the Doctor, walks in with his hands held up as if he's just scrubbed for surgery. The other carries in all the tools. They lean over the patient. Doctor: Is this the patient, sir? Nurse: Yes, sir. Doctor: Hmmmmmm, looks pretty bad. Nurse: Can you save him, sir? Doctor: Well, sir, I don't know. It'll be tough. Nurse: What does he have, sir? Doctor: It looks like a terrible cancer there, but I think we can do it. Knife! Nurse: Knife, sir. Doctor: Spoon! Nurse: Spoon, sir. Doctor: Oops, that's the liver. Nurse: There's the bowels, sir. Pee-uuu! Doctor: Yes, sir. Those sure smell. Aha, I've found the cancer. Monkey wrench! Nurse: Monkey wrench, sir. Doctor: Tweezers! Nurse: Tweezers, sir. Doctor: There, I've removed the cancer. Nurse: Congratulations, sir. But, what should I do with the can, sir? (while holding up a tin can)

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Chainsaw
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	2 scouts
Script:	Clerk: Another beautiful day here in the north woods. This new shipment of chainsaws sure look nice. It should be no problem selling them. Lumberjack: Morning! Clerk: Hello there. What can I do for you? Lumberjack: Well, I've been cutting so much wood, my old crosscut saw is pretty much worn out. I need a new saw. Clerk: Oh, this is your lucky day! This chain saw will let you cut twice as much wood as your old crosscut. And, it's only $100. Lumberjack: Sounds like a good deal. Here you go. (hands over money and takes saw) (the next day) Clerk: Well, another beautiful day here in the north woods. Lumberjack: Hey! I think there's something wrong with this saw. I worked twice as hard yesterday but only got half as much wood cut as I did with my old saw. Clerk: Hmmm, that doesn't sound right. Here, let me put a new chain on it and you can try it again. Lumberjack: Alright, but if it doesn't work any better, I'll be back tomorrow. (the next day) Clerk: Well, another beautiful day here in the north woods. Lumberjack: I give up! This saw is just no good. It's too heavy and I'm just not getting enough wood cut. I want my money back. Clerk: I'm sorry to hear that. Do you mind if I just check it out first? Lumberjack: Sure, here. (hands him the saw) (Clerk pulls the starter rope and then makes loud motor noises.) Lumberjack: My gosh! What in the world is all that noise?

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Chicken Farmer
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 to 8 scouts
Preparation:	One scout stage left - the chicken hatchery owner Rest of scouts stage right - pretending to all be in a big truck. The driver is a chicken farmer and the rest are his men.
Script:	Hatcheryman: (reading a newspaper) Alright! Price of chicken has gone up again. I expect I'll be selling lots of these chicks from my hatchery. (truck drives up and stops a ways away. Driver walks over to hatcheryman.) Chicken Farmer: Howdy, there. Is this Chattanooga Charlie's Chicken Hatchery? Hatcheryman: Sure is, and I'm Charlie. What can I do for ya? Chicken Farmer: Well, I've been farming beets and spuds for the past 10 years and just haven't been making any money. I read that chicken prices are going up so I'm gonna start farming chickens instead. I need me 10 dozen chicks to get started. Hatcheryman: Great, that'll be $100. Have your men load em up from right here. (points behind him to imaginary boxes.) Chicken Farmer: OK, men - load em up! (other scouts scurry back and forth loading the truck. When they are done, the chicken farmer and men all drive away back offstage.) Hatcheryman: (reading the newspaper.) Well, what's that I see coming down the road? Hey, its that new Chicken Farmer's truck. It's only been a week since he was here, I wonder what he wants? Chicken Farmer: Howdy, Charlie. I need another 10 dozen chicks. Hatcheryman: Well, you got in the business at the right time. Prices keep going up. That'll be $120 this time. Chicken Farmer: (pays hatcheryman) OK, load em up. (men load up the truck again and they drive off.) Hatcheryman: (reading the newspaper.) Well, looky there! That Chicken Farmer's back. Now what? Chicken Farmer: Howdy, Charlie. I need another 10 dozen chicks. Hatcheryman: Man, you must have a pretty good size chicken farm going now. That's a lot of chicks. Chicken Farmer: Well, I'm not too sure yet. I think I'm either planting them too deep or too close together 'cause they just aren't growing too fast.

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Chory of Stinderella
Intended for:	All Scouts
Notes:	This is just a monologue that is funny to listen to if it is memorized.
Script:	Once upon a time, in a coreign funtry, there lived a geautiful birl, and her rame was Ninderella. Linderella cived with her mugly other and her two sad blisters. In that same coreign funtry, there also lived a very prandsome hince, called Chince Parming. Chince Parming was going to have a bancy fall, and he'd invited all the people for riles amound, especially the pich reople. Now Cinderella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out and bought some drancy fesses to bear to the wancy fall. Rindercella wasn't allowed to go, so all she had to wear were wome rirty old dags. Finally the bight of the nancy fall came, and the mugly other and the two sad blisters rode off in a cancy foach drawn by bour forces. Cinderella couldn't go, so she just cat down and scried. As she was kitten there scrying, her gairy fodgather appeared! He touched her with his wagic mand, and she was instantly dressed in a geautiful bown of ghite and wold, with matching slass glippers! A kig boach and hix white sorses appeared to bake her to the tall. But the father godfairy warned her to be mome by hidnight, or the diss would resappear and the coach would purn into a tumpkin. When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, Chince Parming met her at the door, for he had been watching from a widden hindow. Pinderella and the handsome chince nanced all dight, until nidmight, and they lell in fove. Suddenly, the clock mid strucknight! Cinderella slaced down the rairs and ran away. But as she beached the rottom, she slopped her glass dripper. The dext nay, Chince Parming went all over that coreign funtry, searching for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper, for he was fuch in move and fad to hind her. After a song learch, he came to Hinderella's souse. He tried the slass glipper on the mugly other, but it fidin't dit. He tried the slass glipper on the sin thigly uster, but it fidin't dit. He tried the slass glipper on the sat ugly fister, but it fidin't dit. Tinally, he tried the slass glipper on Cinderella, and it fid dit; it was exactly the sight rize. So Chince Parming and Cinderella were married and they hived lappily after everwards. Now the storal of this mory is: if you ever go to a bancy fall and want a prandsome hince to lall in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper.

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Clean Silverware
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	5 to 10 scouts. Some spoons, forks, and knives and bowls.
Preparation:	1 scout is the Cook. 2 scouts are dogs crawling around his feet. The rest are scouts coming to dinner.
Script:	(scouts are spread out across stage doing things while the cook is stirring pots with his two dogs crawling around on the ground.) Cook: Come and Get It! (all the other scouts come running and line up in front of the cook to receive silverware and bowls of food.) Scout #1: (when handed silverware) Wow! This spoon is sure clean for being out camping. How do you get them so clean? Cook: Soapsuds and Scrubpad. (cook hands him his bowl of food) Scout #2: (when handed silverware) Wow! This fork is sure clean for being out camping. How do you get them so clean? Cook: Soapsuds and Scrubpad. (cook hands him his bowl of food) (repeat for each scout. When the last scout gets his, the first scout just finishes his meal and brings his dirty dishes back.) Scout #1: Thanks, Cookie. Cook: (whistles and bends down with dishes to the ground offering them to the 2 dogs.) Here, Soapsuds! Here, Scrubpad! (the dogs run over and start licking the bowl while the other scouts watch and get sick.) (optional) Cook: Always do your OWN dishes at camp!

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Clean Socks
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	5 scouts a pile of socks
Script:	Scout #1: (could be a leader instead) Hey, everybody! Our new socks have arrived! Come and get 'em! [other scouts run onstage and line up to receive socks.] Scout #1: OK, Johnny, how many socks do you need? Scout #2: I need 2 pair. Scout #1: Just two? Scout #2: Yes, I wear one pair for a week while the other pair is in the dirty wash. Scout #1: Yuch! Oh well, here you go. Scout #3: I need 4 pair. Scout #1: Why 4 pair? Scout #3: I put on a fresh pair on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Scout #1: Well, that's better than wearing them a whole week. Here you go. Scout #4: I need 7 pair. Scout #1: Great. I bet that's a fresh pair every day, right? [gives the socks] Scout #4: Right! Scout #1: That's what I like. A clean scout! Here you go. Scout #5: 12 pair please! Scout #1: 12!? Man, you must really be clean. Why 12 pair? Scout #5: Well, there's January, February, March, ...

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Climbing Lightbeam
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	flashlight
Script:	Scout #1: I can climb anything! Scout #2: Can you climb that tree over there? Scout #1: Simple. No challenge. I'm the best. Scout #2: How about that cliff face? Scout #1: Already did it, up and down. Scout #2: How about the Eiffel Tower? Scout #1: Been there, done that, had french fries at the top. There's nothing I can't climb. Scout #2: Mount Everest? Scout #1: Yep, that took a whole day since there was a raging blizzard. I told you I can climb anything. Scout #2: I bet you 10 dollars I can show you something you can't climb. Scout #1: Yeah, right. It's a bet. Scout #2: (takes out a flashlight and shines it straight up into the air over the audience.) Scout #1: Are you crazy? There's no way I'm climbing that! Scout #2: Ha! I knew it. You can't climb it. Now, pay up! Scout #1: I CAN climb it. But, I'm not stupid. You'd turn off the light when I'm halfway up!

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Clock Inspection
Intended for:	All Scouts
Script:	At least 5 scouts, but more if they want bit parts. One scout is the Clock Inspector with a German accent. One scout is the Clock Keeper. The rest are lined up in a row as clocks. Inspector: It is time to inspect your clocks. Keeper: OK, right this way please. (they walk up to first clock in line and the keeper winds it up.) Clock #1: Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock. Inspector: (making mark in his inspection sheet) Very good. (they walk up to next clock in line and the keeper winds it up.) Clock #2: Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock. Inspector: (making mark in his inspection sheet) Very good. (they walk up to next clock in line and the keeper winds it up. Continue for all the clocks except last one.) (wind up last clock.) Last Clock: Tick ___ Tick ___ Tick Inspector: (grabs clock and hauls it away) Vee haf vays of making you Tock!

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Clothes from Eddie Bauer
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	5 to 9 scouts
Script:	One scout stands center stage, passing the time. As each scout walks past from stage left to right, he mentions part of their clothing and asks where they got it... Scout #1: Hi, John. Nice shirt, where did you get it? Scout #2: Thanks, I got it from Eddie Bauer. (repeat for each scout walking by using shirt, hat, pants, shoes, belt, ...) Finally, a scout walks by with a towel wrapped around his waist (with shorts underneath) and no shirt or shoes or socks. Scout #1: Hey, who are you? Last scout: I'm new here. My name's Eddie Bauer. Some people prefer to use JC Penney or LL Bean for the brand name.

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Complaining Monk
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	2 scouts A sign that says '10 Years Later'
Script:	Head Monk is sitting or just standing around. New Monk walks onstage. Head Monk: Good morning, monk. It's great to have you join us here at the slient monastery. To strengthen our wills, all new monks take a vow of silence. Do you understand this? New Monk: (nods head) Head Monk: Good! You have ten years in which to contemplate life, death, and everything else. At the end of ten years, you may speak any two words you choose. Do you understand this? New Monk: (nods head) Head Monk: Great! Have a nice day. New Monk: (walks offstage) (Head Monk holds up sign or just says 'Ten Years Later'.) New Monk walks up to Head Monk. Head Monk: Aw, dear monk, it has been ten years. What do you wish to say? New Monk: Hard Bed Head Monk: Hmmm, I see. Have a nice day. New Monk: (walks offstage) (Head Monk holds up sign or just says 'Ten Years Later'.) New Monk walks up to Head Monk. Head Monk: Aw, dear monk, it has been another ten years. What do you wish to say? New Monk: Bad Food Head Monk: Hmmm, I see. Have a nice day. New Monk: (walks offstage) (Head Monk holds up sign or just says 'Ten Years Later'.) New Monk walks up to Head Monk. Head Monk: Aw, dear monk, it has been yet another ten years. What do you wish to say? New Monk: Cold Showers Head Monk: Hmmm, I see. Have a nice day. New Monk: (walks offstage) (Head Monk holds up sign or just says 'Ten Years Later'.) New Monk walks up to Head Monk. Head Monk: Aw, dear monk, you have been with us 40 years. What do you wish to say? New Monk: I QUIT! New Monk: (begins to walk offstage) Head Monk: Well, I'm not surprised. He's been complaining ever since he got here!

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Contagious Pregnancy
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	5 or more scouts 3 chairs a beachball or basketball
Preparation:	one scout is the receptionist for a doctor sitting at a chair behind a pretend desk. 2 chairs are set up in the waiting area. Patients check in and then wait in the chairs.
Script:	Receptionist: (picking up pretend phone.) Hello, Doctor SpongeBob's office. ... Yes, Mrs. Smith your appointment is for tomorrow at 4:00pm. Thank you. Good bye. (in walks a patient and approaches receptionist.) Patient #1: Hello. My stomach doesn't feel well. Can I see the doctor? Receptionist: Certainly. It will be a couple minutes. Please have a seat. (person sits and another patient walks in. This patient is holding his left arm in pain.) Patient #2: Oooow. I think my arm is broken. Ooow. I've gotta see the doctor. Receptionist: Please have a seat. (patient sits next to other patient. After he sits down, patient #1's left arm flops limp off his lap and he lifts it back up with his right arm, in obvious pain. Patient #2 notices that his arm is miraculously feeling better so he gets up and leaves the office. Patient #1 now alternates between stomache and arm pain.) (in walks patient #3) Patient #3: I've got this twitch in my leg that won't go away. Can you help me? Receptionist: Please take a seat. (#2 sits down and the twitch migrates from his leg to #1's leg. #2 gets up and leaves joyously while #1 watches him leave. #1 is figuring out that he is getting the other patients' ailments.) (#4 comes in.) Patient #4: I've can't seem to keep my head up. My neck feels like rubber. Please help me. Receptionist: Please take a seat. (same thing happens. #1 gets the ailment. Continue this for whatever problems you come up with until the final one.) (last patient walks into the waiting room with a ball under his shirt so he is a pregnant lady.) Patient #1: (sees the pregnant lady. Jumps up and runs away hollering.)

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CPR Switch
Intended for:	Boy Scouts, Webelos Scouts
Required:	3 scouts
Script:	Scout #1 walks across the stage and suddenly grabs his chest and collapses at center stage. Scout #2 and #3 enter, talking about how excited they are about completing their CPR, First Aid, Lifeguard, ... tarining. They see Scout #1 and stop. They rush over and check the person for response. Scout #2: Are you ok? (shaking his shoulder) Scout #2: (to Scout #3) Call 9-1-1, he's not responding. While #3 makes a quick pretend call, #2 listens and feels for breath and signs of life. There are none. Scout #2 starts fake chest compressions while #3 counts them to 15. Scout #3: Switch! All three scouts switch positions. #3 lays down. #2 does counting. #1 does compressions.

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Crazy Astronomers
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Script:	Need 5 scouts. 4 scouts are placed around the stage, each doing their thing as described below. 5th scout is narrator. Narrator: Good evening, folks. The Astronomy program was quite popular at camp this past summer, but I've heard the late nights really take a toll on the people and some of them are never the same again. Here's a few of the people that completed the program. Let's see how they're doing. (to 1st scout who is plucking things from the sky) Narrator: Hi, what are you doing? Scout #1: Why, I'm taking the stars down so they can be nicely cleaned. (to 2nd scout who is washing things in a bowl) Narrator: Hi, what are you doing? Scout #2: Why, I'm washing the pretty stars. (to 3rd scout who is hanging things into the air) Narrator: Hi, what are you doing? Scout #3: Why, I'm putting the stars back up in the sky. (to 4th scout who is walking his two fingers up and down his arm) Nar: Hi, what are you doing? Scout #4: I'm running away from these guys! They're crazy!

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Crossing the Tracks
Intended for:	Boy Scouts, Webelos Scouts
Required:	3 scouts - old man and woman, stationmaster.
Preparation:	You could lay down two long ropes in parallel like train tracks, but not needed.
Script:	Stationmaster is standing and waiting for something to do, maybe checking his watch. An old woman and man slowly walk to center stage where they stop and both look to the left and then to the right. woman: George, go ask the stationmaster when the next train is coming from the North. man: (as if deaf) Eh? what's that? woman: Go ask the stationmaster when the next train is coming from the North! man: Alright! (walks across the imaginary tracks and up to the stationmaster) Sonny, when's the next train a-comin' from the North? stationmaster: At 1 o'clock, sir. man: Eh? stationmaster: 1 o'clock, sir! man: Oh, okay. (walks back to woman) man: At 1 o'clock. woman: Go ask him when the next train is coming from the South. man: (as if deaf) Eh? what's that? woman: Ask him when the next train is coming from the South! man: Alright! (walks across the imaginary tracks and up to the stationmaster) Sonny, when's the next train a-comin' from the South? stationmaster: 3 o'clock, sir. man: Eh? stationmaster: 3 o'clock, sir! man: Oh, okay. (walks back to woman) man: At 3 o'clock. You can repeat for East and West if you want to drag it out longer. woman: (looks at watch and thinks a minute) OK, George, I believe we can safely cross the tracks now then. (both walk slowly across, past the stationmaster, and offstage)

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Dead Body
Intended for:	All Scouts
Preparation:	2 scouts
Script:	Scene: One scout lying on the ground, dead. Second scout walks in, sees him, runs for the telephone and dials 911. Panicking and gasping he says: 'Hello 911, there's a dead person here... ' 'Where am I? I'm at Montgomery and Worchestshire.' 'You want me to spell it!?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g,' (confused) 'Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm!'

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Dead Parrot
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	rubber chicken or something that you can pretend is a dead bird
Notes:	This is a classic Monty Python skit. It takes quite a bit of practice to get all the lines down. The full skit continues on, but requires scene changes.
Script:	Praline: Hello, I wish to register a complaint . . . Hello? Miss? Shopkeeper: What do you mean, miss? Praline: Oh, I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint. Shopkeeper: Sorry, we're closing for lunch. Praline: Never mind that my lad, I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Shopkeeper: Oh yes, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it? Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it. Shopkeeper: No, no it's resting, look! Praline: Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one and I'm looking at one right now. Shopkeeper: No, no sir, it's not dead. It's resting. Praline: Resting? Shopkeeper: Yeah, remarkable bird the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage, isn't it? Praline: The plumage don't enter into it : it's stone dead. Shopkeeper: No, no : it's just resting. Praline: All right then, if it's resting I'll wake it up. (shouts into cage) Hello Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot! Shopkeeper: (jogging cage) There it moved. Praline: No he didn't. That was you pushing the cage. Shopkeeper: I did not. Praline: Yes, you did. (takes parrot out of cage, shouts) Hello Polly, Polly (bangs it against counter) Polly Parrot, wake up. Polly. (throws it in the air and lets it fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead parrot. Shopkeeper: No, no it's stunned. Praline: Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk. Shopkeeper: It's probably pining for the fjords. Praline: Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home? Shopkeeper: The Norwegian Blue prefers sleeping on its back. Beautiful bird, lovely plumage. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered that the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there. Shopkeeper: Well of course it was nailed there. Otherwise it would muscle up to those bars and voom! Praline: Look matey (picks up parrot) this parrot wouldn't voom if I put four thousand volts through it. It's bleeding demised. Shopkeeper: It's not, it's pining. Praline: It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot. Shopkeeper: Well, I'd better replace it then. Praline: (to camera) If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth. Shopkeeper: Sorry guv, we're right out of parrots. Praline: I see. I see. I get the picture. Shopkeeper: I've got a slug. Praline: Does it talk? Shopkeeper: Not really, no. Praline: Well, it's scarcely a replacement, then is it? Shopkeeper: Listen, I'll tell you what, (handing over a card) tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton he'll replace your parrot for you. Praline: Bolton eh? Shopkeeper: Yeah. Praline: All right, then. He leaves, holding the parrot.

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Depressed Reporter
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	5 or 6 scouts
Script:	First scout walks out to center stage looking depressed. Scout 1: I'm a reporter. I have been for 12 years. And in all that time, I've never had a real scoop. Never. I'm a failure. I've done this long enough, so now I'm going to jump off this bridge and kill myself. One, two, ... Scout 2: Wait! Wait! Why are you jumping? Scout 1: I'm a failed reporter. I've never had a real scoop." Scout 2: Oh. You think you have it bad, I'm a truck driver, and I've got hemmorroids. I think I'll join you. Scout 1 & 2: One, two, ... Scout 3: Wait! What are you all doing? Scout 2: We're committing suicide. Scout 3: Oh, I'm a grade school teacher. I just realized that I can't stand whiney little kids. I think I'll join you. All: One, two, ... Scout 4: Wait! What are you doing? All: We're committing suicide. Scout 4: Well I'm a florist, and I've got hayfever. sneeze! I think I'll join you. All: One, two, ... Scout 5: Wait! What are you doing? All: We're committing suicide. Scout 5: I'm a Park Ranger and I hate camping. I'll join you. All: One! Two! Three!!! (They all jump, except for the reporter.) Scout 1: Four people jump to their grisly deaths! What a scoop! (He runs offstage, scribbling furiously on his notepad.)

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Did You See That?
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 scouts
Script:	Scene: 4 scouts on a hike. The last one in line is oblivious to the wonders of nature around him while the others are all noticing great things. Scout 1: Wow! Did you see that? (everyone else except the last scout says things like 'Wow, yeah. That was cool!') Scout 4: What? Where? I missed it. Scout 1: It was a huge fish - jumped 3 feet out of the water! (keep hiking) Scout 2: Wow! Did you see that? (everyone else except the last scout says things like 'Wow, yeah. That was cool!') Scout 4: What? Where? I missed it. Scout 2: It was a bald eagle - had a 10 foot wingspan! (keep hiking) (now the last scout figures out he's looking dumb so he decides to play along even though he doesn't notice something) Scout 3: Wow! Did you see that? (everyone else except the last scout says things like 'Wow, yeah. That was cool!') Scout 4: Uh, ... yeah. Amazing! Cool! (looks around searching for whatever it was they saw) Scout 3: It was two bighorn sheep fighting! (keep hiking) Scout 1: Wow! Did you see that? (everyone turns around and looks at the ground behind them and say 'wow. amazing. gosh.' the last scout joins in but is obviously searching around for whatever they saw.) Scout 2: Then why did you step in it? It was the biggest, gooiest pile of bear scat I've ever seen! (last scout looks at shoe and tries to wipe it off on the ground while all the others scatter away saying 'gross! yuch! pee-u!')

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Dirty Socks
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 scouts 1 large can full of water 4 coffee mugs
Preparation:	Place the can in the center of the stage.
Script:	Scout 1: (walks to can with his cup, dips it in and takes a drink) 'Yuch! This Camp Tea is awful!' Scout 2: (walks to can with his cup, dips it in and takes a drink) 'Yuch! This Camp Coffee is terrible!' Scout 3: (walks to can with his cup, dips it in and takes a drink) 'Yuch! This Camp Chocolate is disgusting!' Scout 4: (walks to can, reaches in and pulls out pair of socks. Wrings them and says...) 'Aaah, they're finally clean!'

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Dirty Socks - Version 2
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 scouts 1 large can full of water big spoon socks or underwear
Preparation:	Place the can and spoon in the center of the stage with the socks in the can.
Script:	Scout 1: (stirring pot) la-de-da. ... hmmm, I hear nature calling, gotta go. (exits stage left) Scout 2: (enters stage right and walks to can. smells the aroma ) Mmmm, camp soup smells pretty good today. Cookie won't mind if I try it. (takes a sip with the spoon ) Boy, that's good. I can't wait for lunch! Scout 3: (same thing) Mmm, good soup! Scout 4: (same thing) Mmm, good soup! Scout 1: (enters stage left. Stirs pot. ) La-de-da. Scout 2,3,4: (enter stage right together) Hey, Cookie, great soup! Yeah, really flavorful! What kind of soup is it? Scout 1: Soup? I'm not cooking soup! (as he lifts the socks high out of the pot with his spoon and wrings them out) Other people ham it up by acting overly sick, of course. :-)

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Ditch Wreck
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	6 scouts
Script:	Four scouts are arranged as if in a car and drive onto the stage. They imitate a car wreck and they all wind up laying on the ground - 3 of them close together and the 4th a way apart. Two scouts drive onto the scene as policemen with their siren going. Police #1: Looks like another bad crash here on MacIntosh Boulevard. Well, we'd better record the details on the report. Let's go. They walk over to the group of 3 people. Police #1: This one wound up in the ditch. Police #2: Got it. (writing on his pad) D-I-T-C-H. ditch. Police #1: Here's another one in the ditch. Police #2: Yep. D-I-T-C-H. ditch. Police #1: Number 3 is in the ditch, too. Police #2: Uh-huh. D-I-T-C-H. ditch. Police #1: Hmmm, this poor guy is right out here in the boulevard. I'm gonna go check the tire marks while you finish writing this up. (He walks away) Police #2: OK. Boulevard. B-O-L, nope. Hmmm, B-O-A, nope. Hmmm. (He looks around, then rolls the person over closer to the others.) Police #2: D-I-T-C-H. ditch.

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Dumb Doctor
Intended for:	Boy Scouts, Webelos Scouts
Required:	2 scouts chairs lined up to be a hospital bed or a tabletop.
Script:	(doctor enters hospital room where man is laying on hospital bed, sleeping. doctor walks over close to man and looks at him and starts readying his imaginary status chart.) doctor: Hmmm, let's see. Mr. Smith. Hmmm, recovering nicely. Good progress! (man wakes up and starts grabbing his throat like he can't breath.) doctor: What is it? Do you need something to drink? (man shakes head No) doctor: Do you need medicine? (man shakes head No frantically) doctor: Are you having a heart attack? (man shakes head No. He acts like he is scribbling on a piece of paper.) doctor: You want a pencil and paper? (man nods head Yes) (doctor hands him paper and pencil. Man writes note with his last bit of strength and then falls back dead.) doctor: (reading note) You are standing on my oxygen hose! (doctor looks down at his shoes and takes a step back, then guiltily scurries offstage)

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Echos in the Woods
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	2 scouts 1 leader
Preparation:	One scout needs to hide outside the door to the room or in the dark away from the campfire.
Script:	Leader: I was reading on the Internet the other day that many [wooded areas or rooms] like this one may have strange ECHOing capabilities. If you shout in just the right direction, the sounds can bounce around off the [trees/hills/walls] and come back. I've asked Bobby here to give me a hand in an experiment. Leader: Bobby, could you please shout something out in that direction (points away from where other scout is hiding). Bobby: (yells in that direction) "HELLO!" Leader: Hmmm, not that way. Let's try this direction. (points towards where scout is hidden). Bobby: HELLO! Echo: HELLO! Hello! hello Leader: Wow! It works! Hey, Bobby, yell something else out there. Bobby: HORSE MANURE! Leader: Hey! That's not very nice. We don't use such language here, Bobby. Try saying something nicer, please. Bobby: Ok, Ok, Sorry. Bobby: [Leader's Name] is the best! Echo: HORSE MANURE! Horse Manure! horse manure

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Elevator to Bathrooms
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	5 to 10 scouts
Preparation:	One scout at center stage. He is the elevator operator in a department store with 5 floors. Other scouts off to the side of stage.
Notes:	The idea is that people are boarding an elevator because they have to use the restrooms that are on the fifth floor. They really have to go by the time it arrives. You can make the building taller if you want the skit to last longer and have more scouts.
Script:	Operator: First Floor! (1 person enters elevator).) Scout #1: Fifth floor, please. Operator: Yes, sir. We'll get there. (operator closes door. passenger watches numbers above door.) Scout #1: Come on, 5. Come on, 5. Operator: Second Floor - Sporting Goods. (another person gets on.) Scout #2: Fifth floor, please. Operator: Yes, sir. We'll get there. (operator closes door. passengers watch numbers above door and squirm around some.) People: Come on, 5. Come on, 5. Operator: Third Floor - Kitchen Appliances. (another person gets on.) Scout #3: Fifth floor, please. Operator: Yes, sir. We'll get there. (operator closes door. passengers watch numbers above door and squirm around quite a bit.) People: Come on, 5. Come on, 5. Operator: Fourth Floor - Children's Toys. (another person gets on.) Scout #4: Fifth floor, please. Operator: Yes, sir. We'll get there. (operator closes door. passengers watch numbers above door and squirm around a lot.) People: Come on, 5. Come on, 5. Operator: Fifth Floor - Ladies Apparel and Restrooms! (all people run out of elevator and offstage to use the restrooms.)

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Enlarging Machine A Favorite Skit
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	at least 4 scouts and a leader one volunteer (victim) sheet small stick and large branch empty balloon and blown up balloon small dry sponge and large sponge bucket of water tiny paper airplane and very large paper airplane
Preparation:	Ask for a volunteer from the audience before the skit is set up. Have the skit leader take the volunteer out of the room for some quick training. Tell him that the leader said this skit can be done only if the floor doesn't get scratched up and nothing gets broken.
Notes:	This skit has water so make sure its ok on the floor. The victim should be someone with a good sense of humor.
Script:	Leader: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Gustaf Mulch, world-famous inventor extraordinaire! Today, you are all fortunate to be the first to see my latest invention in action - the Enlarging Machine!!! Leader: Assisting me in my demonstration today is the great [Bob] world-famous sidekick and all-around good guy! Leader: Bob, please take this small item (person hands him the small airplane) and gently toss it into the machine. When it comes back out, please don't let it hit the floor or it might break. I promise you, its completely safe. (Bob tosses the airplane over the sheet and a scout sails the huge plane back out towards Bob. Hopefully, Bob will successfully catch the big plane.) Leader: Wonderful, Bob! You did great! What a huge airplane! (If he did not catch it, tell him to try a little harder next time.) Leader: Bob, let's continue with the demo. (scout hands him the empty balloon.) (Bob tosses the balloon in and a scout tosses the blown balloon back.) Leader: Terrific! Good catch, Bob! We really don't want to scratch the floor or break anything. I must admit this is the best the machine has worked so far! Do we have anything else to try? (scout hands small sponge to Bob) (Bob throws it over and a scout throws back a large soaking wet sponge. Hopefully, Bob is in the habit of catching whatever comes back and catches it)

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Explain the Joke
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	2 scouts - could have 2 or 3 more if available
Notes:	Be sure to have actual patrol leaders doing the joke so they are making fun of themselves.
Script:	(Scout #1 is a patrol leader standing center stage. Could have a couple more patrol leaders standing around in different spots.) (Scout #2 comes onstage laughing to himself and walks up to Scout #1) Scout #2: Hey, wanna hear a real funny Patrol Leader joke I just heard? Scout #1: Sure, but before you start, you should know I'm a patrol leader. And, that guy's a patrol leader. And, so is that one over there. So go ahead and tell me your joke. Scout #2: Ah, never mind. I don't want to have to explain it three times!

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Firing Squad A Favorite Skit
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	6 to 10 scouts
Notes:	You can add more disasters such as tornado, flood, earthquake if you have more scouts.
Script:	(3 soldiers in a holding cell stage left. In walks the leader of the enemy.) Leader: You have all been found guilty of spying. You will each be shot by firing squad as soon as the squad arrives. (leader walks stage right to wait for the squad) Prisoner #1:: Hey, I know how we can get out of this. Let me go first and follow my lead. (the firing squad enters stage right) Leader: First prisoner, take your place! (Prisoner #1 steps out from the others and stands straight and tall facing the firing squad) Leader: Ready! Leader: Aim! Prisoner #1: HURRICANE! (all the soldiers scurry for cover looking afraid. The prisoner runs offstage. When they realize there is no hurricane, the soldiers line up again) Leader: Next prisoner, take your place! (Prisoner #2 steps out from the others and stands straight and tall facing the firing squad) Leader: Ready! Leader: Aim! Prisoner #1: TIDAL WAVE! (all the soldiers scurry for cover looking afraid. The prisoner runs offstage. When they realize there is no tidal wave, the soldiers line up again) Leader: Next prisoner, take your place! (Prisoner #3 steps out from the others and stands straight and tall facing the firing squad) Leader: Ready! Leader: Aim! Prisoner #1: FIRE! (the prisoner falls, being shot by the solders)

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Fishing Secret
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 or 5 scouts
Script:	3 or 4 scouts in a group, all fishing and not catching anything. 1 other scout walks onstage, waves to them and they wave back. He sits aways away and starts fishing. He catches a fish and repeats it a few times. One scout gets up and walks over to the scout that is catching fish. Scout #1: I've been here fishing all day and haven't caught anything. You've almost caught your limit already. What's your secret? Fish Scout : mumble mumble with mouth closed. Scout #1: What did you say? Fish Scout : mumble mumble with mouth closed. Scout #1: Oh never mind! (walks back to buddies) Scout #1: He's kinda strange. I couldn't understand him. Repeat with each scout asking his secret until the last scout tries. Last Scout : We've been here all day and haven't caught anything. What's your secret? Fish Scout : mumble mumble with mouth closed. Last Scout : What? Fish Scout : mumble mumble with mouth closed. Last Scout : Oh, come on. You can tell me, buddy! (and gives him a slap on the back which causes the scout to take a big hard swallow and look kind of sick.) Fish Scout : I said - 'You have to keep the worms warm!'

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Follow the Tracks
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 scouts
Script:	(All scouts are sitting around a campfire. They can be Indians or cavemen or campers.) Scout #1: (walks over to storage box and looks in.) Hey, we're about out of meat. I'm going to go get a deer. (everyone waits while he walks offstage and comes back 15 or 20 seconds later. Could fill the time with a joke or two.) Scout #2: Hey, nice deer! How did you get it? Scout #1: I just followed the tracks. Scout #2: You know, some rabbit would go well with that deer. I'm going to go get some. (everyone waits until he returns.) Scout #3: Nice rabbits. How did you get them? Scout #2: I just followed the tracks. Scout #3: Nothing like a little possom to go with rabbit. I'll go get some. (everyone waits until he returns.) Scout #4: Nice possom. How did you get them? Scout #3: I just followed the tracks. Scout #4: Squirrel always adds flavor. I'll go get some. (everyone waits until he returns.) (Scout #4 comes limping back, broken leg, all banged up and barely alive.) Scout #1: Hey, what happened to you? Scout #4: I just followed the tracks... Scout #4: And a train hit me!

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Fool's Gold
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	at least 4 scouts - Assayer, his partner, 2 or more miners
Script:	The assayer and his partner are in the office, waiting for gold miners to bring in gold from their claims. Partner: Hey, mind if I go across the street to grab a bite for lunch? Assayer: Sure, I'll watch the shop. First miner walks in with a sack. Assayer: Howdy, what can I do for you? Miner #1: I think I found some gold on my claim. Here, tell me what this is and what it's worth. (hands over sack and assayer looks inside) Assayer: This is just fool's gold. Miner #1: Dag num it! I've wasted 3 months in them there hills! (storms out, leaving his sack behind.) As many miners as you have each walk in with a sack and the same general scene unfolds with the assayer getting a pile of sacks. Finally, his partner comes back from lunch. Partner: Hey, whatcha got in all them sacks? Assayer: Ha, I've got all those fools' gold!

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Fred the Flea
Intended for:	All Scouts
Preparation:	one scout one volunteer victim
Script:	"Here in my hand, I have Fred the Flea. Fred will perform for you some amazing feats. Watch closely." "Fred, do jumping jacks! Very good! Cheer, everyone!" "Fred, do a somersault!" "Fred, do a high jump!" Watch him go way up, then back down. "Now Fred will do a long jump. I need a volunteer to catch Fred." Pick a leader, or someone in authority. "OK, hold your hands out to catch Fred." "Fred, do a longjump!" Watch Fred jump to the volunteer "Oh, wait! He jumped too far - don't move!" Walk over to the volunteer. "Fred seems to have jumped into your hair!" Start picking through the volunteer's hair. "Here we are .. no, that's not Fred." toss the flea over your shoulder. "Ah! No, that's not Fred." "That's not Fred." "Fred, are you in there?" "That's not Fred either." "Fred? Aha! Here he is! He's had a rough day, we're done now."

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Gandhi
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	6 or more scouts candle and match match striking surface and tape chair ping-pong ball
Preparation:	one scout is Narrator, one is Gandhi, rest are run-ons. one scout as Gandhi (smallest scout is best, bare-footed, dressed up if desired) stands center stage. Gandhi has match striking surface taped to the bottom of one foot.
Script:	Narrator: A mystical, peace-loving man from India spent much of his life promoting non-violence. We can learn a lot from this man. His name is Mahatma Gandhi. (Gandhi walks around stage.) Narrator: Gandhi led a simple life and usually walked barefoot. Over time, this made his feet very tough with thick calluses. (scout comes onstage with candle and match, looking for a place to light it.) Scout #1: Gandhi, I am unable to light my candle. Can you help me? Gandhi: Certainly. (he sits down on the chair and crosses his leg up so his soul with the match striking surface is available to the scout, but not seen from the audience. The scout strikes the match, lights the candle.) Scout #1: Oh, thank you, great Gandhi. Gandhi: Don't mention it. (scout walks to stage side to wait for end.) Narrator: Gandhi also fasted many times to make political statements. This lack of food made him quite frail and fragile. (scouts come onstage bouncing a ping-pong ball back and forth. One misses it so it bounces over to Gandhi.) Scout #2: Gandhi, would you please return our ball to us? Gandhi: You bet. (gets up and goes to the ball. Tries to pick it up, but can not because he is so weak.) Gandhi: Sorry, boys. That ball is too heavy for fragile little me. (scouts get their ball and walk to the stage side.) Narrator: Gandhi also ate a simple diet, but it was very spicy Indian food and he did not visit the dentist often. This gave him halitosis, which is just a scientific word for Bad Breath. (scouts come onstage and walk up to Gandhi.) Scouts: Hello, Gandhi! Gandhi: Hiiiiiii, people! (scouts grab their noses and make a deal about how bad it smells, and run to the stage side.) Narrator: Now, you know about Gandhi. He was a Super Callused, Fragile, Mystic hexed by Halitosis. (all scouts run to center stage, link arms with Gandhi, and they all sing the Mary Poppins song...) Super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough, you're sure to sound precocious. Super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

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George Washington and the Cherry Tree
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 scouts
Script:	Scene: 3 scouts sitting around a campfire with one scout acting as the adult leader. Leader: We need to reflect on our day at camp. For the most part, I think it was a great day. What do you think? Scouts: yeah! great! really good! Leader: But, there was one instance that we need to take care of. I'm sure you know what it was. I only want to ask once - who rolled the tent over that cliff over there? Scouts: Not me! I didn't! It wasn't me! Don't look at me! Leader: OK, let me tell you a little story about our first president, George Washington. George's dad had a cherry tree that produced lots of cherries every year. One day, when George's dad came home, his cherry tree had been chopped down. Scouts: Huh! Hmmm! Uhuh! Leader: Yep, and when George's dad asked him 'Son, did you chop down my tree?', George, being honest and brave, replied 'Yes sir, I did it.' Well, George's dad said 'Since you told me the truth, we'll pick all the cherries and make a big cherry pie for you.' Scouts: Wow! Really! Huh! Leader: Now, one last time - Who pushed the tent over the cliff? Scout #1: Not me! Scout #2: I didn't! Scout #3: (sheepishly replies) It was me. Leader: (mad and grabs the scout by the arm to take him away.) Come on, then! You're going home! Scout #3: But George Washington got a cherry pie for telling the truth! Leader: George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree when George Washington cut it down!

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Getting Into Heaven
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	4 or more scouts
Script:	Angel: Well, pretty slow day here at the Gates of Heaven. Oh, I see a customer floating over now. Let's see what his story is. Scout #1: Good morning, I seem to have died. I'm sure glad I came to heaven. Angel: Hold on there, son. You aren't in yet. Only good folks that have suffered enough on earth get to enter heaven. How have you suffered on earth? Scout #1: Hmmmm, well I ate camp food three years. Angel: Sorry, dude, that's not enough suffering. (Scout exits dejectedly.) Scout #2: Howdy! Angel: How have you suffered on earth? Scout #2: I backpacked 65 miles through the mountains. Angel: Sorry, but that's not enough suffering. (Scout exits dejectedly.) Scout #3: Hello! Angel: How have you suffered on earth? Scout #3: I forgot my sleeping bag on a winter campout, and I got poison ivy seven times, and I had chicken pox, and my parents never gave me an allowance, and I had to walk 4 miles to school uphill both ways. Angel: Oh, so close. But, sorry, not enough suffering. (Scout exits dejectedly.) [have as many scouts as desired come up with ways they've suffered.] Last Scout : Hey, Angel, any chance I could get into heaven today? Angel: How did you suffer on earth? Last Scout : I'm in [name of Patrol or Troop] Angel: Oh, you poor soul. Come on in!

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Give the Frog a Loan A Favorite Skit
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	3 scouts - a frog seeking a loan, Patty Wack the loan officer, Mr. Smith the bank manager. a statue, stick, or some small silly item
Script:	Mr. Smith is offstage. Patty Wack is seated at a desk. The frog walks into the bank. frog: Ribbit. Good morning. patty: Good morning. (looks up and sees frog.) Oh my! Uh, my name is Patty Wack. How can I help you? frog: Ms. Wack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation. patty: (Takes a hard look at the frog, then shrugs her shoulders and gets out loan form. She starts filling in information) How much would you like to borrow? frog: $25,000 please. patty: What is your name? frog: Kermit Jagger, I'm Mick Jagger's son, you know. My dad is good friends with your bank manager. patty: Well, $25,000 is quite a bit of money. We will need some collateral to secure the loan. What do you have? frog: (holds up a small item) I have this Hummel! patty: (takes item and looks at it in confusion) Well, ummm, I'm going to have the bank manager take a look at this. (yells) Mr. Smith, could you come here please?! Mr. Smith: Yes, Ms. Wack. What seems to be the trouble? patty: This frog's name is Kermit Jagger and he claims his father knows you and he wants a $25,000 loan and he wants to use this, this, this 'HUMMEL!' as collateral. I don't even know what a Hummel is or if we can even give a loan to a frog! Mr. Smith: Obviously, it's a knick-knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!

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Good Thing About Christmas
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 or more scouts - 2 narrators, a scout, an adult, Aunt Ruth.
Notes:	Could have more scouts, each with a role to come on and perform for each Good/Bad item.
Script:	(Adult Leader could be a larger scout playing the role of a grumpy adult) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Getting Christmas cards. (opens envelope pulls out the card and smiles) Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Writing out and sending the Christmas cards. (pretends to write, gets cramp in his hand and shakes it) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Christmas vacation. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Christmas vacation. (Scouts run around him once yelling) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Dreaming that you're Santa flying through the sky. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Wearing an old rented Santa suit. (smells his armpit) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Having a white Christmas. (flutters his fingers like snow) Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Having a white Christmas. (pretends to shovel snow) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Eating Christmas cookies. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Making Christmas cookies. (pretends to mix the dough in a big bowl) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Santa comes. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Santa's reindeer come too. (takes a step and picks up his foot and shakes it so everyone knows what he just stepped in) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Unwrapping presents. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Cleaning up after unwrapping presents. (pretends to pick up the wrappings from the floor) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Peace on Earth. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... It's not always so peaceful. (Scout 1 pretends to play with loud electronic game, bangs drums or other noisy toy) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Christmas dinner. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Aunt Ruth. (someone runs on stage with a wig on, pinchs his cheek and shakes it, yelling Oh, you're sooo cuute! ) Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... Getting a do it yourself - build your own motorcycle kit and your Dad is going to help you put it together. Narrator 2: A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... Opening the box and finding the instructions are in Chinese. Narrator 1: A good thing about Christmas is ... Scout : ... it's only ___ days away. Narrator 2 A bad thing about Christmas is ... Adult Leader: ... It only comes once a year. Merry Christmas!

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Got Any Duck Food?
Intended for:	All Scouts
Script:	Scout 1 stands behind box or chair or table being used as the store counter. Customer: (walks in and faces store owner) Got any duck food? Owner: No, this is a hardware store. We don't sell duck food. (customer leaves and comes back the next day) Customer: Got any duck food? Owner: No! This is a haaaaardwaaaaaaaare store. We....do....not....sell....duck....food. (customer leaves and comes back the next day) Customer: Got any duck food? Owner: No! No! No! And, if you ask me again, I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor! (customer leaves and comes back the next day) Customer: Got any Nails? Owner: No. Customer: Got any Duck Food?

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Gravity Check
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	1 scout
Script:	The scout runs in from the side of the stage and yells, "Gravity Check!" as he jumps as high as he can. When he lands, he says, "CHECK!" and runs off the stage. Or, if the ground is soft enough and he is tough enough, he can flop on the ground for his landing and yell, "CHECK!" as he staggers off stage.

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Great Raisins
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	5 or more scouts. big dark-colored garbage bag for each.
Preparation:	all but one scout puts a garbage bag on like a coat - with a hole cut out for his head.
Script:	All scouts but one are Raisins and they come on stage and line up. They sing the Raisin Bran song. "We are the raisins that make the Raisin Bran so great." over and over and over ... Last scout walks onto stage with his fingertips together over his head so his arms make a big circle - he is the spoon. Raisins: Spoon! Aaaaaah! (and they all run around in a panic, but not too fast) The 'spoon' catches one raisin and takes him offstage. Raisins line up, settle down, and start their song again. Spoon reappears and takes another raisin. Repeat until only one raisin is left. He stands there sadly and sings: "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner ..." For added fun, have the 'spoon' enter the stage the 2nd or 3rd time with only one arm pointing straight up - he's a knife. :-) One Raisin yells - "Spoon!!!" Another yells - "Hey, its just a knife! I think he's after the jelly." and they all settle down while the knife walks across. Can do the same thing with both arms pointing up with elbows bent to the side slightly - a fork. :-) One Raisin yells - "Spoon!!!" Another yells - "Relax, that's a fork! The eggs are in trouble now!" and they all settle down while the fork walks across.

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Grecian Fountains
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	2 scouts 2 water pitchers 2 sheets
Preparation:	Wear the sheets like togas and fill the water pitchers.
Notes:	If your two actors can make it through the whole thing without cracking a smile, all the better!
Script:	Scout #1: (in a most sophisticated voice possible) Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to this evenings rendition of the much-acclaimed short play 'Grecian Fountains'. This evenings presentation is a one-act play brought to you by the good people at [PetCo, K-Mart, Burger King, ...]. Please refrain from video taping and flash photography. Thank you, and please enjoy the show. Quiet, please! Scout #1 gracefully walks to position stage left while Scout #2 moves to stage right. Both stand tall, still, solemn, and silent. After a few seconds, Scout #1 starts a slow, graceful walk halfway to center stage. There, he faces Scout #2 so he is sideways to the audience, takes a large mouthful from his pitcher, and spits it out in a high, streaming arch like a fountain. Remaining serious the entire time. When Scout #1 finishes, Scout #2 repeats. Scout #1 walks closer to center stage, adding more artistic moves and striking a more difficult pose, such as holding a foot up or arms out. He takes water and spits. Scout #2 repeats. (do this as many times as you want, but don't let it get too old) #1 and #2 should be getting closer all the time. Now, #1 does a graceful dance step so he is right next to and facing #2. He takes water and aims his fountain so it splatters right at and on the feet of #2. #2 dances around #1, takes water, and streams it on his leg. #1 repeats, getting #2 wet on the chest. #2 repeats, streaming water down #1's back or neck. He also needs to have his pitcher raised high and in front of him when he strikes his pose. This is the cue to #1 that the final act is to occur. #1 strikes a pose directly in front of #2 facing him and underneath the upraised pitcher. #1 takes water and raises his pitcher identically to #2. As soon as he lets a trickle of water out of his mouth, or winks, or gives a signal, they both pour slow streams of water from their pitchers on the other for the grand finale. When the pitchers are drained, gracefully turn to face the audience and take deep bows.

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Guaranteed Parachute
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	2 scouts
Script:	A guy wants to start skydiving so he goes to buy a parachute. Dealer: This is our best parachute. It's completely guaranteed. Customer: Great, what's this handle for? Dealer: That's the rip cord. You pull it and the parachute opens. Customer: Great, what's this other handle for? Dealer: That's the emergency chute. If the main chute fails to open, pull that handle and the emergency chute opens. Customer: Well, what if the emergency chute doesn't open? Dealer: Like I said, its guaranteed! Just bring it back and we'll give you a full refund!

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Guess My Line on the Toilet A Favorite Skit
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	2, 3, or more unsuspecting volunteers. 2 scouts to run the skit. a chair.
Preparation:	set the chair center stage. select your volunteers and have one scout take them back stage where they can not hear what is going on onstage.
Notes:	The skit only works well if the volunteers have not seen it before so it can't be done very often. You might want to have an actual prize that gets the contestants trying their best.
Script:	Back stage, the scout tells the volunteers they will be in a contest to get the audience to guess their job. Give each volunteer a different job - racecar driver, weightlifter, horse jockey, newspaper delivery boy, ... whatever you can think of that might be interesting and can be done sitting on a chair. Each volunteer is sent onstage, one at a time, to get the audience to guess their job. Meanwhile, onstage, the other scout is telling the audience that the chair is a toilet seat and we'll see how each of the volunteers use it. Call out the first contestant and see what happens. When the laughs die down, have him stop and get the next contestant.

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Hair in my Hamburger
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	3 scouts
Script:	(scout #1 enters a restaurant and is seated by scout #2.) Scout 1: I'd like a burger and fries, please. With a coke. Scout 2: Very good, it will be right up. (Scout 2 exits and returns with imaginary plate.) Scout 2: Here you are, sir. Enjoy! (Scout 2 moves off a ways, waiting to serve.) (Scout 1 takes a bite and enjoys it until he stops and pretends to pull a long hair out of his mouth.) Scout 1: Yuch! Waiter! There's a hair in my burger! Scout 2: Oh, I am so sorry, sir. Here, give me that and I will bring you a fresh meal. (Scout 2 leaves and comes back with a new plate.) Scout 2: Here, sir. I brought you new fries also. Scout 1: Thank you. (starts eating again and finds another hair.) Scout 1: Waiter! I found ANOTHER hair. I want to speak to the cook - NOW! (Scout 2 runs offstage and brings back scout 3 who is the cook and pretends to be forming hamburger in his hands.) Scout 1: What is the problem? Don't you know how to make hamburgers? Scout 3: Yes, I do. I make these burgers the same way every time. See? (scout rolls a ball of hamburger in his hands. Then, puts it in his armpit and squeezes his arm down.)

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Hare Restorer
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	3 scouts hair spray can
Script:	Rabbit is hopping around center stage. Scout enters stage as if driving a car and runs into rabbit. Scout gets out of car and checks rabbit and sees that he is definitely dead. Second scout drives up and stops. Scout #2: What's the matter? Scout #1: I hit this poor rabbit and killed it. Scout #2: Hey, that's no problem. I have just what you need right here - my wife left it in the car. Try it. (hand spray can to other scout. Scout shakes it and sprays a little on the rabbit. Rabbit twitches, gets up, and hops away. As he is hopping, he turns and waves at each hop.) Scout #1: Wow, that's great! What is this stuff? (reads can.) Scout #1: Hair Restorer - restores dead, lifeless hair and gives it a permanent wave.

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Hey, Sven!
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	4 or more scouts
Preparation:	Scouts split into to armies, one on each side of the stage.
Notes:	Here in Minnesota, we make fun with scandinavian accents, but you could change it.
Script:	This is the Norwegian army (not too bright) in a war with the German army or some other country. The Norwegians are Ole and Sven. The Germans are Hans and Peter. (each team acts like it is behind shelter, quickly taking shots over or around their shelter occastionally). Hans: Hey, Peter, those Norwegians are too tough. I have a plan to trick them. Watch this. Hans: (peeking around the shelter) Hey, Sven! Sven: (standing up and looking) Ya? Who's dat? Hans: BANG! (Sven falls down and Ole bandages him up. Hans and Peter give high fives) (The Norwegians start firing again) Peter: Hey, Hans, they're shooting again. Do your trick again. Hans: (peeking around the shelter) Hey, Sven! Sven: (standing up and looking) Ya? Who's dat? Hans: BANG! (Sven falls down. Hans and Peter give high fives) Ole: (while bandaging Sven) Sven, we gotta get dem guys. Why don't you play their own trick on them? Sven: Good idea, Ole! (The Norwegians start firing again) Sven: (peeking around the shelter) Hey, Hans! Hans: Iss dot you, Sven? Sven: (standing up and looking) Ya, its me! Hans: BANG! (Sven falls down. Hans and Peter give high fives)

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Hot Meal
Intended for:	Boy Scouts
Required:	3 scouts
Script:	(3 scouts wander on stage) Scout #1: Boy, am I hungry! We haven't eaten in days! Scout #2: Me too. Scout #3: I'm ok, but I would just love a hot meal. Scout #1: (Looking to ground) Shhhh! A rabbit! Jump it! (scouts #1 & #2 sneak up and catch it and start eating it) Scout #2: (Looking at Scout #3) Would you like some? Scout #3: No thanks, I'm ok. I'll wait for a hot meal. Scout #1: OK, whatever. (after finishing the rabbit and waiting a bit) Scout #2: Hey! A squirrel! I'm still hungry. Let's get it! (Scout #1 & #2 chase it around, catch it, and start eating) Scout #1: (to Scout #3) Come on, you want a bite? Scout #3: No, that's alright. I'd rather wait for a hot meal. (after a short wait) Scout #1: Hey! A moose! Scout #2: Be very quiet. (Scout #1 and #2 sneak up on the moose, wrestle it to the ground, and start eating it) Scout #1: (to Scout #3) Hey, look. There's tons of meat here. We can't eat it all. Help yourself. Scout #3: Thank you, but, no. I'm fine waiting for a nice, hot meal. Scout #2: Are you sure? You haven't eaten anything for an awful long time. Scout #3: No thanks, I'd prefer a hot meal. (as Scout #1 and #2 continue to eat and eat) Scout #1: Boy, I'm stuffed. I think my stomache is gonna explode. Scout #2: Me too. I don't feel so good. (he throws up) Scout #1: I'm sick, too. (he throws up too) Scout #3: Finally! A hot meal!

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I Ain't Lost
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	4 or more scouts a chair a map
Preparation:	1 scout is a local fellow sitting on his front porch. The rest are on a hike and find themselves lost.
Notes:	The Local can use a slow drawl accent if that would make it funnier. The hiking scouts get more frustrated with each question asked.
Script:	Scout #1: (to other hikers, while looking at map) Gee, guys, looks like we're lost. Scout #2: Let's ask that guy over there for directions. (walk over to Local sitting on chair.) Scout #3: Excuse me, we've been hiking for 20 miles and we seem to be lost. Can you help us? Local: Why, shore, whadda ya need? Scout #1: (looking at map) Can you tell us where Mt. Plummet is from here? Local: Nope, never heard of it. Scout #2: Can you point us towards 'the White River'? Local: Nope, don't know where that's at. Scout #3: How about Fort Smithers? Local: Nope, don't know that one neither. Scout #1: Well, how far is it to 'Red Prairie' then? Local: Sorry, couldn't tell ya. Scout #2: Oh, come on! Where's the closest highway? Local: Highway? Hmm, don't know if there is a highway round here. Scout #3: Sheesh! What DO you know? Local: Well, sonny, I DO know I ain't lost!

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I Saw a Bear
Intended for:	All Scouts
Notes:	This skit should only be done with good-natured adult leaders or a scout that knows what will happen.
Script:	Ask for volunteers, 5 or more works best. Have the volunteers line up on stage and the skit leader is on the left end of the line. Leader: OK, please crunch closer together. Real close so your shoulders are tight together. That's it! Leader: This is a very simple silly skit so I appreciate you volunteering. When I say "I saw a bear!", you all say "WHERE?". Then, I'll point where and you copy me. Leader: OK, let's try it. Leader: Wait, since we're looking for bear, we'd better crouch down and be careful. (crouch down and check the the rest also are.) Leader: I saw a Bear! Volunteers: Where? Leader: Over there! (big arm gesture and points far to the left with his right hand. All volunteers should then also point.) Leader: I saw a Bear! Volunteers: Where? Leader: Over there! (big arm gesture and points far to the right with his left arm so his arms are crossed. All volunteers should then also point.) Leader: I saw a Bear! Volunteers: Where? Leader: Over there! (big leg gesture and points far to the left with his right leg. All volunteers should then also point.) Leader: I saw a Bear! Volunteers: Where? Leader: Over there! (big head gesture and points far to the right with his head. All volunteers should then also point.) At this point, the volunteers should be in a tight line with most of their weight on their left foot and their right leg out to the left and their head leaning to the right. Not a lot to prevent them from all tipping over with a slight push on the left-most scout. Leader: I saw a Bear! Volunteers: Where? Leader: Over there! (and pushes the first scout in line, hopefully toppling them all down) If they are all adults, the scouts in the audience love it. But, don't expect some of those volunteers to ever volunteer for a skit again if you did not warn them beforehand.

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Ice Fishing A Favorite Skit
Intended for:	All Scouts
Required:	3 scouts or 2 scouts and adult
Preparation:	One scout or adult offstage playing God's voice.
Script:	2 scouts are icefishermen and they walk to centerstage. Ole: Sven, dis looks like a goot spot. Sven: Ya, Ole, let's start here, den. (Sven starts using a manual ice drill to cut through the ice.) God's Voice: There are no fish there! (Sven and Ole jump and look around.) Ole: Sven, let's try over der. Sven: Ya, Ole, you drill the hole dis time. (Ole takes the drill and they move to a new location and start to drill through the ice.) God's Voice: There are no fish there! (Sven and Ole jump and look around.) Ole: My gosh, Sven, we'd best try a different spot I'm thinkin'. Sven: Ya, Ole, dat looks pretty good over der. (Ole takes the drill and they move to a new location and start to drill through the ice.) God's Voice: Listen, you guys, I'm the ice rink manager and THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!

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Cub Scout and Boy Scout Skits

38 Over the Cliff

Anyone Else Up There?

At The Movies

Banana Bandana

Be Prepared

Bear Attack

Bear Warning System

Blind Horse

Brains for Sale

Brains for Sale - Version 2

Branch Manager

Broken Finger

Brown Pants

Brownie Pudding

Brushing Teeth

Bubblegum

Bully Be Gone

Can of Cola

Can't Work in the Dark

Cancer Operation

Chainsaw

Chicken Farmer

Chory of Stinderella

Clean Silverware

Clean Socks

Climbing Lightbeam

Clock Inspection

Clothes from Eddie Bauer

Complaining Monk

Contagious Pregnancy

CPR Switch

Crazy Astronomers

Crossing the Tracks

Dead Body

Dead Parrot

Depressed Reporter

Did You See That?

Dirty Socks

Dirty Socks - Version 2

Ditch Wreck

Dumb Doctor

Echos in the Woods

Elevator to Bathrooms

Enlarging Machine A Favorite Skit

Explain the Joke

Firing Squad A Favorite Skit

Fishing Secret

Follow the Tracks

Fool's Gold

Fred the Flea

Gandhi

George Washington and the Cherry Tree

Getting Into Heaven

Give the Frog a Loan A Favorite Skit

Good Thing About Christmas

Got Any Duck Food?

Gravity Check

Great Raisins

Grecian Fountains

Guaranteed Parachute

Guess My Line on the Toilet A Favorite Skit

Hair in my Hamburger

Hare Restorer

Hey, Sven!

Hot Meal

I Ain't Lost

I Saw a Bear

Ice Fishing A Favorite Skit

Illegal C

Enlarging Machine
A Favorite Skit

Firing Squad
A Favorite Skit

Give the Frog a Loan
A Favorite Skit

Guess My Line on the Toilet
A Favorite Skit

Ice Fishing
A Favorite Skit